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sit me down
hold me close
hold me tighter
and im still alone

you kiss my neck
lick my ear
nibble my shoulder
but noone is near

touch my hips
remove my top
hold my breasts
but i feel unloved

you continue with your unloved sin
the further you go
the more emptyness within

you lay your body
ontop of mine
you kiss my with passion
look into my eyes
you stop with a halt
you know what i feel
you know once more that i am lost
lost in a world
full of empty dreams
empty minds and empty streets
you lay back down
try to rest
get back up
never to return again

left to lay
alone in mine and the world of the real
but now i have no reason to stay feel so lost and alone
for noone is here
my last hope has gone
so i reach out and scratch at my wrists
at first its a joke
but then the hatreds revealed
i pick up my knife
hold it on that place
push is deeper
till my death is embraced
all i feel now
is calm and soft
for now i am
no longer alone
u know ive had the same song on repeat for like over an hour now... duno wut it has to do about this poem but blah... anyway this is honestly crap urm was meant to be about something OTHER than death.. didnt quite work out :S haha.. lol i dont like it so its cool if u dont :)
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:iconkawaiismaksmak:
kawaiismaksmak Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2005
deep, beautiful, i love it. Adding to fav~
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:iconnaninakar:
naninakar Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2005   Writer
sorry for the rude ppl i liked even if they didnt just ignore'em!
Reply
:iconthatsprettysweetman:
ThatsPrettySweetMan Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2005
Wow. This poem was stunning. You must be a professional writer. I can tell by the beautifully designed meter that makes this masterpeice flow wonderfully. Also, the originality is what makes this poem brilliant. No one has ever written about death before. You are certainly the first and only one. Really, you should submit this to a publisher. OH wait, this is the worst shit I have ever read. You know, instead of writing about slitting your wrists, you should seriously look into ACTUALLY doing it. Congratulations on making my list of people I deem unworthy of life!
Reply
:icony0shisbiatch:
y0shisbiatch Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2005
You're right. Whoever introduced this kid to poetry needs to be smacked. Better luck next time.
Reply
:iconganja-frodo:
GANJA-fRoDO Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2005
nice piece but i would like to lend some advice, on ways u could improve ur talent.


when writing it is always better to write out such things as numbers instead of putting them out like 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. and proper spelling of words is a must, unless the poem requires it, and/or done intentionally

when writing ur sentence structure, u should try to even them off, it isn't good to have readers reading one paragraph worded in four lines, and others four times that amount of lines

the poem has a lot of meaning to it but is very clearly still in the rough, smoothen it out, purify its contents and u have a master piece

just a lil advice i wish to share with an upcomin poet in the making, u have skill.
use it to its full potential.

u can check me out at anytime,
ps. i'll add u to my msn.
Reply
:icon4-hprincess4life:
4-HPrincess4life Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2005   Writer
wow, this is good. keep writting.
Reply
:iconnaninakar:
naninakar Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2005   Writer
wow a really powerful piece this is beautiful and yet haunting.gorgeous!
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February 1, 2005
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